Dating, one of the most complicated parts about college and honestly life. Relationships seem to come and go as quick as the classes we take. As we search for love we tend to think we’ve found it every time we get those butterflies in our stomach which as we encounter the opposite sex at every turn of campus we are bound to think we’re in love all the time. We confuse infatuation with love and in the end we don’t only hurt those around us, we don’t only hurt ourselves, but in turn we hurt our future spouses.
As we encounter freedom on a whole new level we tend to think we are ready for all the responsibilities that come with it and we think that we know best for our lives. All to often our feelings are based on first instincts and hormones. Before we get to know someones story we are getting physical with them and building bonds that were never suppose to be, bonds that we aren’t ready for. We jump into relationships not realizing what it means and not realizing how important and vital the relationships will be in our life.
As always I find it important to stress foundation, because without a firm foundation everything crumbles in time. To be dating someone based on the fact of infatuation is to make a relationship that has no chance to last in the end. To begin a relationship based on humor or their ability to make us laugh will in time fade again. To date someone with different beliefs and theology saying it will work out in the end is to hope someone else’s foundation of their life changes to fit you, something unfair to both parties. To date because someone is your whole life and happiness is to put your life and joy in someone else’s hands, it’s pressure that consumes and crushes them in time, I know this first hand, I’ve felt the love at first and that love slows suffocates them. Dating is beautiful but should not be something you rush into, it’s a big decision that will effect your life and perspective of life.
Too often we rush into dating and I stress that it’s okay to take your time. Stand firm in your decision. From my experience people love to play match makers, people want to create love and they do their best to force it on those around them. Don’t fall into the pressure, don’t date because people tell you too, date because you love them. Take your time though, there’s no rush, dating is the first step towards marriage and all too often we forget that and we date just to date.
Another important part of dating is the physical aspect of it and the dangers that come along it. We look for love by making love, and that’s a false reality of life. Sex isn’t love. Sex is dangerous unless it’s in the context of marriage. As soon as you cross the boundaries their almost impossible to go back before, and they soon will consume the relationship. Showing love to your significant other is great and encouraged but be careful how you do it, because it can cause pain and scars.
As we mature in our life our world opens up and we are free to live it however we choose. As we begin to search for our spouses we need to be patient. We can’t settle for people who don’t match up with us or fear loneliness and lower our standards. God has a plan for all of us and you can put your faith in the fact that when the time is right you will meet the one you are suppose too. As we start to date one we love, take it slow and set boundaries. Stand behind those boundaries and save any form of sex for when you’re with your future spouse. We all slip and mess up but it’s never too late to start over and clean our slate. We don’t need to conform to the ways we have our whole life when God is calling us to live a better life, a purer life, a happier life.
Dating is beautiful when it’s done right. Be patient. Love one another not by physical standards but by actions and servitude. Respect one another and encourage one another. Don’t rush things, take it slow. Build your foundation on something that lasts won’t fade. Forgive as you have been forgiven. Love like crazy.
gsehlers 