I’ve be a part of many transitions throughout my life: various moves from town to town, my parents divorce, my parents remarrying, heading off to college, life after college, and my personal favorite the two weeks of not running between every long distance running season. This transition, however, has been the most life-changing and challenging transition of them all. My transition unto a real life job, a possible career, as well as starting to figure out what life for my lovely fiance and I will look like moving forward.
I had been working at Sunnybrook Community Church as an assistant youth director for about a year and a half when it had suddenly became clear to me that my goal of moving into a full time position at this dream church was suddenly a mirage. It happened suddenly, almost in the blink of an eye. I had thought for so long that I was moving up and suddenly it was gone. In hindsight, it probably never was that close in reality, maybe a miscommunication I’m not sure but as that sunk in I became remorse that I was so far off from where I thought my life was going.
Now don’t get me wrong, Sunnybrook changed my life. As I was coming to know Christ three years ago, Sunnybrook was the only place I knew to go and one that offered me opportunity after opportunity after opportunity to grow, mature, and become a leader. Words can’t and won’t express the gratitude I feel towards Sunnybrook. However, working as an assistant was one of the greatest challenges I’ve had to go through.
One of the greatest challenges was on my identity. It was hard to see myself as a role player, throughout my life I had always grown to see myself as one of the main guys in whatever capacity I was in. Whether it was leading as a runner, a leader, a counselor, or student. It was hard for me to adjust and begin to see myself as not the head honcho rather a back-up. In hindsight once again, I can see how shaky I was as my identity is in nothing more than being a child and servant of God. In the moment though it was a very humbling feeling to see myself not from the leader and star I had come to know rather an assistant who picked up pizzas and ran errands around town. My confidence really wilted in that time, being part time in a sea of full-time I questioned my worth and value a lot in that time. I know I was valuable as a child of God, but it still weighed heavily on me. Because of these reasons while going to Sunnybrook was something I loved, being an assistant was something I simply did not love. I had many talks with my directors about joy. I wasn’t full of joy in my work, I wasn’t engaged to be there, and I spent many days waiting for the hours to pass by so that I could just go home. I wasn’t doing things I was passionate about and I think that was part of my struggles. I spent the majority of my days doing things I wasn’t passionate about.
I know part of growing up and working is sorting through the mud in the beginning to get to the point where you get to do what you love. For those that know me, I am a very passionate person. I love life. I love people. I can’t remember something I was doing that I didn’t love and pursue with everything I had. Whether it was running for my dreams, leading my teams every day, or following Christ. I gave everything I had everything I had because I was passionate about it. Because of this reason getting through the mud was very difficult for me. I spent a large portion of my life believing you grew up, got a job you hated and worked until you retire. The idea of having that not be real, instead loving your job was something I desperately wanted.
At this realization it became clear that I needed to transition into a new job. I don’t want to lie or deny one important fact in all this. Even though I knew it was time for me to leave, it was difficult to grasp. I had a lot of mixed feelings about how everything went down that for a couple of days left me very bitter. Fortunately God gave me peace when He reassured me “It doesn’t matter how, what, or why it happened. What matters is that you are moving.” It was in that moment that I could let go of all my negative emotions and really cling to the hope of Christ.
After the moment of being told what my last day everything moved very fast. To be honest, it was all almost instantaneous. I had found out about a new position that very day because of my connections with David Nash and within the week I had meet the head pastor and organized a meeting. It was once the meetings with the pastor started that time started to slow down. It was refreshing to meet with him and be energized with his thoughts, ideas, and heart for ministry. I had positive feelings about all of it from the very start.
As we got to know each other better I became more and more excited about whatever the future would hold. Which leads us to today, eleven days out from starting as an Interim Children’s Ministry Director. While it’s only for five months, I couldn’t be more excited. The opportunity and ability to chase my passions if even for a moment. I hope this opportunity turns into something more, but during this transition I’ve learned to have more trust and faith in Christ than I ever have before.
There are times when I really question what I’m doing. I mean did I ever think I would be a director of children’s ministry? Even if it ends up to be five months, am I prepared for this? If you asked anyone in my graduating class not a single one would have said that’s what I would be doing. I guess that’s the beauty of being transformed and created new in Christ. While I never would have dreamed I’d be where I am today, following Christ reminds me that our reality is better than our dreams. Am I prepared for the future? Time will tell, but I know that my God will stand by me. That He will encourage, strengthen, love, and guide me in my life. I know that I am valuable, knowledgable, and equipped in Christ and through Christ. I am excited, actually eager for this chance and plan on pursuing it with everything God has blessed me with.
So here’s to the past and how it shaped me, carved me, and brought me to this place. Here’s to the future and whatever it might hold knowing I am able with God to seize the day. Thank you Christ for new life. Thank you Sunnybrook for the opportunities and believing in me. Thank you to my friends, family, and fiance for supporting and encouraging me. As the next chapter of my life starts, thank you Morningside Lutheran for believing, trusting, and giving me this chance. All glory to God. The hardest transition of my life to date may not be fully complete, but with God I have found strength to praise Him and glorify Him through and through.
gsehlers 