A Hard Transition

I’ve be a part of many transitions throughout my life: various moves from town to town, my parents divorce, my parents remarrying, heading off to college, life after college, and my personal favorite the two weeks of not running between every long distance running season. This transition, however, has been the most life-changing and challenging transition of them all. My transition unto a real life job, a possible career, as well as starting to figure out what life for my lovely fiance and I will look like moving forward.

I had been working at Sunnybrook Community Church as an assistant youth director for about a year and a half when it had suddenly became clear to me that my goal of moving into a full time position at this dream church was suddenly a mirage. It happened suddenly, almost in the blink of an eye. I had thought for so long that I was moving up and suddenly it was gone. In hindsight, it probably never was that close in reality, maybe a miscommunication I’m not sure but as that sunk in I became remorse that I was so far off from where I thought my life was going.

Now don’t get me wrong, Sunnybrook changed my life. As I was coming to know Christ three years ago, Sunnybrook was the only place I knew to go and one that offered me opportunity after opportunity after opportunity to grow, mature, and become a leader. Words can’t and won’t express the gratitude I feel towards Sunnybrook. However, working as an assistant was one of the greatest challenges I’ve had to go through.

One of the greatest challenges was on my identity. It was hard to see myself as a role player, throughout my life I had always grown to see myself as one of the main guys in whatever capacity I was in. Whether it was leading as a runner, a leader, a counselor, or student. It was hard for me to adjust and begin to see myself as not the head honcho rather a back-up. In hindsight once again, I can see how shaky I was as my identity is in nothing more than being a child and servant of God. In the moment though it was a very humbling feeling to see myself not from the leader and star I had come to know rather an assistant who picked up pizzas and ran errands around town. My confidence really wilted in that time, being part time in a sea of full-time I questioned my worth and value a lot in that time. I know I was valuable as a child of God, but it still weighed heavily on me. Because of these reasons while going to Sunnybrook was something I loved, being an assistant was something I simply did not love. I had many talks with my directors about joy. I wasn’t full of joy in my work, I wasn’t engaged to be there, and I spent many days waiting for the hours to pass by so that I could just go home. I wasn’t doing things I was passionate about and I think that was part of my struggles. I spent the majority of my days doing things I wasn’t passionate about.

I know part of growing up and working is sorting through the mud in the beginning to get to the point where you get to do what you love. For those that know me, I am a very passionate person. I love life. I love people. I can’t remember something I was doing that I didn’t love and pursue with everything I had. Whether it was running for my dreams, leading my teams every day, or following Christ. I gave everything I had everything I had because I was passionate about it. Because of this reason getting through the mud was very difficult for me. I spent a large portion of my life believing you grew up, got a job you hated and worked until you retire. The idea of having that not be real, instead loving your job was something I desperately wanted.

At this realization it became clear that I needed to transition into a new job. I don’t want to lie or deny one important fact in all this. Even though I knew it was time for me to leave, it was difficult to grasp. I had a lot of mixed feelings about how everything went down that for a couple of days left me very bitter. Fortunately God gave me peace when He reassured me “It doesn’t matter how, what, or why it happened. What matters is that you are moving.” It was in that moment that I could let go of all my negative emotions and really cling to the hope of Christ.

After the moment of being told what my last day everything moved very fast. To be honest, it was all almost instantaneous. I had found out about a new position that very day because of my connections with David Nash and within the week I had meet the head pastor and organized a meeting. It was once the meetings with the pastor started that time started to slow down. It was refreshing to meet with him and be energized with his thoughts, ideas, and heart for ministry. I had positive feelings about all of it from the very start.

As we got to know each other better I became more and more excited about whatever the future would hold. Which leads us to today, eleven days out from starting as an Interim Children’s Ministry Director.  While it’s only for five months, I couldn’t be more excited. The opportunity and ability to chase my passions if even for a moment. I hope this opportunity turns into something more, but during this transition I’ve learned to have more trust and faith in Christ than I ever have before.

There are times when I really question what I’m doing. I mean did I ever think I would be a director of children’s ministry? Even if it ends up to be five months, am I prepared for this? If you asked anyone in my graduating class not a single one would have said that’s what I would be doing. I guess that’s the beauty of being transformed and created new in Christ. While I never would have dreamed I’d be where I am today, following Christ reminds me that our reality is better than our dreams. Am I prepared for the future? Time will tell, but I know that my God will stand by me. That He will encourage, strengthen, love, and guide me in my life. I know that I am valuable, knowledgable, and equipped in Christ and through Christ. I am excited, actually eager for this chance and plan on pursuing it with everything God has blessed me with.

So here’s to the past and how it shaped me, carved me, and brought me to this place. Here’s to the future and whatever it might hold knowing I am able with God to seize the day. Thank you Christ for new life. Thank you Sunnybrook for the opportunities and believing in me. Thank you to my friends, family, and fiance for supporting and encouraging me. As the next chapter of my life starts, thank you Morningside Lutheran for believing, trusting, and giving me this chance. All glory to God. The hardest transition of my life to date may not be fully complete, but with God I have found strength to praise Him and glorify Him through and through.

Let Your Voice Be Heard. (Thoughts on Ferguson)

No indictment come across the screen of the television as the scanners start buzzing with word of riots and rage in Ferguson, Missouri. What happens over the next couple hours are horrifying, two sides of people at war. One wanting their voice to be heard and not knowing what to do with their frustrations and growing hopeless with the lack of vision as they turn to violence; the other side, a side completely away from it all has problems comprehending why violence would be the answer and scratching their heads. The tweets increase as the trends of the country are consumed to be this event. Over the course of the night whatever, voice is heard or silenced, one thing is for sure, we will remember this night.

This night has been coming, for three months as the people of the country anxiously await the verdict. However, the underlying story is one untold, of the feelings of the oppressed as they grow tired of being subjected and prejudiced against. As they are thrown into harsh lives, have their rights neglected, and have the very people who are suppose to protect them harm them. This is their life and it has been happening for decades. This night is not about one death. It’s about every life, every act of violence from authority, and every voice that was silenced.

I cannot pretend to know what this is like, but it is a reminder that we are broken people. I have never seen it and spend most of my days ignorant to fact that it is there. I live in my own world thinking about the materialistic problems I face, such as how to pay off student loans, how to get the best priced on wedding invites, and how to move up in my career. I am never confronted with the thoughts or feelings of these people and the injustice they face every day. That is until tonight. I sit here tonight with most of the country trying to wrap my head around how violence could ever be an answer, while attempting to see life from their point of view and asking myself one simple question: what am I doing?

I embarrassingly don’t know enough about the trial to make any strong decision on the choice of the grand jury. I won’t pretend to either. I do know that violence will not solve this problem, but understand how hopelessness and frustration bred with anger can cause people to seek violence. You see because tonight as they riot we are continuing confronted with their problems, we are drawn into their world, and we can’t live in ignorance. Will things change because of the violence? Probably not, but at least for tonight, they are the center attraction and they will display how frustrated they are.

As for the rest of the world, what is our responsibility? As we sit behind our screens and watch the media, as we watch the rioting and the looting, as we see the injustice of both the verdict and the people, what is our responsibility? We can say how terrible they are for their violence but what are our words doing to make a difference? How is us slandering them impacting the situation? The President urges protestors to be constructive and not destructive and we sit in our chairs shaming them for their actions over our computers. We are merely fueling the fire.

I’ve grown up wanting to change the world and tonight I’m confronted with the fact that our world needs changed. We need our voices to be heard. We need to have an impact. We need to show love. It is not enough to be bystanders in this life, the world needs us to take action, Ferguson needs us to take action.

Whether that’s building up programs and awareness for our authorities or being proactive in the lives of youth to help them steer away from trouble, they need us too.  Whether it’s being educated to know who to vote for and actually voting, they need us too. Whether it’s building better and stronger communities and being intentional with people around us, they need us too.  Whether it’s merely learning to hold our tongue for a moment so we don’t make situations worse, they need us too. Ferguson is one place, one city, and yet the problems are across the nation. We need to take action today to build a better tomorrow and not sit by and watch what we love be destroyed: that could be our towns, our youth, our government, or our dreams. As we move towards making better communities today we start to build communities that won’t suffer from the same problems as Ferguson. Is this a tall task? Absolutely, but I believe it can happen. I’m a dreamer though and I will always envision a better tomorrow.

There are many things we can learn from tonight, but one that I believe is very powerful is we need to respond; not just the people of Ferguson, but you. It might not impact Ferguson Missouri tomorrow, but it will change your community and the life of those around you, and maybe someday that will change the next Ferguson.  My hope is it will not only help us avoid the murder that occurred in Ferguson but also help avoid the violence.

Let your voice be heard. Do not just make noise. Make a difference.

Psalm 51

1 For the choir director: A psalm of David, regarding the time Nathan the prophet came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba. Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. 2 Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. 3 For I recognize my shameful deeds — they haunt me day and night. 4 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just. 5 For I was born a sinner — yes, from the moment my mother conceived me. 6 But you desire honesty from the heart, so you can teach me to be wise in my inmost being. 7 Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. 8 Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me — now let me rejoice. 9 Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt.10 Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. 11 Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me again the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. 13 Then I will teach your ways to sinners, and they will return to you. 14 Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves; then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness. 15 Unseal my lips, O Lord, that I may praise you. 16 You would not be pleased with sacrifices, or I would bring them. If I brought you a burnt offering, you would not accept it. 17The sacrifice you want is a broken spirit. A broken and repentant heart, O God, you will not despise.

 

In 2 Samuel we see a scene where a man after the heart of God, King David, sins and how responds to the sin and to His Father.  After King David saw Bathsheba bathing on a roof he knew he had to have her. Whatever the cost was it wouldn’t be enough to stop him from fulfilling his fleshly desire to have her. Lust filled his eyes and pride filled his heart as the king believed that whatever was in the kingdom was his for the taking and his eyes saw a woman that he would stop at nothing to obtain.  He called her over and slept with her and after hearing word later that she was pregnant, David sent her husband Uriah to the front lines of the army so that he would die.  After his death, David wedded Bathsheba.

Upon seeing this play out the Lord set Nathan to rebuke David and open his eyes to the sin that he had caused because his actions were displeasing to the Lord.  It was in this time of mourning of his sin that David wrote Psalm 51 and it is here that we catch a glimpse of a man who loves the Lord and where his heart now lie after sinning.

Reread Psalm 51, it is beautiful and it is a reminder where our heart should be in times when we are consumed by the sin in our own lives.  As we see our own “Bathsheba’s” and are consumed with the sin in our lives, when our pride, lust, gluttony, greed, revenge, envy, or sloth get the best of us, when we fall to our desires where do we turn.

“1 Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. 2 Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin.”

David shows us through his cries to the Lord his response and shows us what ours should be too.  We cried out for help to the Lord. We are overwhelmed with our sinful nature and we turn and hide from God; however, instead we should turn and face Him. We cry out to Him to have mercy on us.  We ask Him to have mercy on us not because of anything we have done or will do, but because of his unfailing love.  We beg for mercy knowing that Christ paid the price through love.  We ask for God to look at us in love and compassion and with compassion forgive us of our sins.  Drowning us in grace that will not only take away our sin but also remove the guilt that weighs heavy on our backs and in our souls. We ask him to purify us.

“3 For I recognize my shameful deeds — they haunt me day and night. 4 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just. 5 For I was born a sinner — yes, from the moment my mother conceived me. 6 But you desire honesty from the heart, so you can teach me to be wise in my inmost being.”

In the midst of our sin we are reminded that our sin surrounds our life, even after our conversion to live for Christ, we will forever be consumed with sin until the moment we are taken into our heavenly home to be with him.  The sin that surrounds us is a direct barrier between us and the Lord, and a direct offense in the eyes of the One True King; it serves as evil in the eyes of our God and in that moment of disobedience we looked at Him and said He was not enough and the sins we cling to was.  The evilness of our sins proves that the Lord is just in His judgment.  In this moment of despair we are reminded that our sin is forever around us, since the moment we were conceived we were full of sin.  Plagued with sorrow we repent of our transgressions because the Lord desires a pure and honest heart within us, open and susceptible to the Truth that He wishes to fill us with.

” 7 Purify me from my sins and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. 8 Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me — now let me rejoice. 9 Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt.”

We look to the Lord and know that He alone can help us.  He alone can purify us, save us, heal us, and forgiveness.  Though the sin of our lives leaves a crimson stain through Jesus and Jesus only we can take the stain and be renewed and washed.  We can be washed whiter than the whitest snow.  As Jesus cleanses us and washes us it doesn’t only renew us from our sins but also the guilt that we bottle up inside.  David, being a broken spirit in the moment, looks to God and pleads not only for forgiveness but also to have joy again.  He begs God not to look at his sins.  In the same way as we hang out heads we pray to God for repentance and for joy in Him.  We ask Him to not look at us through our sin but instead through the lens of Christ and the cross.

“10 Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. 11 Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me again the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.”

David teaches us that we don’t dwell in the guilt of our sin after repentance and just as Paul will later tell us over and over again, we press on.  We don’t stop at asking God to forgive us because we aren’t contempt with a life of sin. We want a life of Christ and a life with Christ so we press on and ask God to cleanse and purify our heart; we ask Him to renew the Holy Spirit within us to strengthen and guide us.  We know that we have sinned against God and God alone, that He is just in his judgment and yet we want nothing more than to be with Him.  David pleads with his Father, not to forsake him or leave him, because David knows that is literally hell.  David wants to be restored to the joy he had when he was saved and the gratitude that lead to obedience and David knows his comes from the purified heart which he can only do with the guidance of Holy Spirit.  In the same way, we press on in gratitude, in reverence, and in love to be one with Lord.

“13 Then I will teach your ways to sinners, and they will return to you. 14 Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves; then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness. 15 Unseal my lips, O Lord, that I may praise you. 16 You would not be pleased with sacrifices, or I would bring them. If I brought you a burnt offering, you would not accept it. 17The sacrifice you want is a broken spirit. A broken and repentant heart, O God, you will not despise. “

As David follows the Lord so he helps others follow the Lord and he rejoices.  In gratitude and obedience to God he sings songs of joy and praises.  He wants to serve God and give the Lord what the Lord wants.  He would give anything, but he knows what the Lord wants is broken heart to sin.  A heart that is sorrowful when it falls to the fleshly desires of the world and one that repents and turns to the Lord.  

As we lay in agony of our sins and transgressions we get a glimpse of what repentance looks like.  We cry out to the Lord to forgive us and we are reminded of our true identity.  Righteous, pure, and blameless in the eyes of God, because of the death of our wonderfully beautiful Savior Christ Jesus.  Because of His love and compassion our sins have been forgotten, washed clean, and thrown into the deep abyss of the sea. (Micah) We reflect on our sinful nature and know that we won’t escape it here on earth but we cling to the truth that Christ wants us to be filled with.  That we are clean, forgiven, and loved.  We look to the Lord to not forsake us, but be with us in these moments and every moment.  We look to Him to fill us with His Spirit so that He may mold us and shape us into His likeness and create in us a clean heart.  We look to Him to remove our sins and guilt and take us back to the joys of our salvation.   The joys and gratitude that lead us to follow Him, love Him, and seek Him.  We look to Him for rejoice and we praise Him all the more because we are forgiven! Praise the Lord for He is good.  We look to serve the Lord with all of our heart which exactly what He wants from us.

The Demons In My Closet and the Joy in Pain

In this dogfight of a life we live, we fall.  We stand up and walk, but eventually we fall again. 

In the legendary films of Rocky in a monologue he says “Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you’re hit. It’s about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward.” This is so prevalent today and all too often when the punches start to come in we start looking towards anything and everything to help us or you’re like me and you start to do anything to keep your mind off of the problems with life.  We find bliss in the ignorance that if we ignore a problem it will go away.  Where we can live in a world where we can look at something destroying us and try to shrug it off hoping that if we shrug enough times we’ll escape it.  Life doesn’t take the hint though.

In a battle of lust I had believed I had victorious evaded the problem so many others couldn’t. My new pure heart kept me in perfect harmony and bliss for what seemed a lifetime.  My old habits had died suddenly and my new ones took over.  I thought the war was won forever, until life threw me a curve ball that I forgot to catch.  My thoughts went south as did my attitude and suddenly I felt a haunting erie feeling that felt all too real.

As I saw my old life trying to creep in I saw a part of me start to neglect the love of those around me and of my Savior.  I became low and I began to withdraw myself from life and begin to fight my demons in my closet one-on-one.  Night after night I prayed seeking Christ and hoping that in the morning things would be different and my fleshly desires would retreat and my godly intentions would shine through.  They didn’t.  Day after day I would go through routine of pursuing my fleshly desires while neglecting God.  

While I never fully faltered to my flesh, I began to start to hover and try to get as close as I could without going over so that my guilt wouldn’t consume me.  Which is the exact same way I was with Christ, keeping my distances getting close but never fully looking towards Him through this period of struggle. I became complacent with my sin.  I became growing frustrated with myself and why I was the way that I was.  I had developed this illusion that living for Christ and loving Christ meant not that my life would be easy but that I would not struggle.  How could I? Everything I do is for Christ and His love is all I need? How can I struggle when I have His blood covering me? 

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that they testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish it’s work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

I read that twice tonight. I’m falling, I’m struggling, and what do I have or what should I have? Pure joy. Pure joy because through this trial I’m developing perseverance.  Which is especially good because right now I am not complete and I am lacking a lot. What am I lacking? Truth be told, I’m not sure, only Christ knows and I’m okay with that.  I know that through this hard time that I will overcome because no matter where I’m at in my life or in my faith, Jesus is always with me and the war has already been won.

We face problems every day of our lives of all times: past problems coming back to haunt us, addictions, resentment, bitterness, perfectionism, sexual abuse, physical abuse, basic needs, death, bullying, poverty, impurity, relationship conflict, the list is endless.  We struggle with these problems every day of our lives.  While they aren’t suppose to define who we are, many times they consume our identity and block our relationship with Christ.  They don’t have too though. Christ died for us so that we could be free from them.  Through these problems though and all problems good will come out of it, because every problem is an opportunity for growth.  Growth in character, growth in relation to Christ, growth in dependency to Christ, they all lead to our perseverance of them.  We need perseverance, it’s vital to who we are because as we grow we’re able to mature and see life and the events of life in a new light.  In a light of what Christ has done for us and how sometimes the hardest times were the times where we closest to Him.  It’s through developing perseverance that we are able to grow and mature and when that happens is when we can start to fill in the pieces that we are lacking in.

I don’t know why I’m struggling, I don’t know how long I’ll struggle, but I will find joy in it.  I’ll find joy in not battling the demons of my closet and instead opening the door so Christ can do work. I’ll find joy in the hardship knowing that when I weather the storm I’ll walk away a better person and a closer more dependent person to Christ.  I’ll find joy in the lessons I learn and in people it allows me to connect with.  I’ll find joy in perseverance knowing that Garret today is lacking something that Garret tomorrow won’t. I’ll find joy in nothing more than the love and grace of Christ. I’ll find joy in growing more depend on Him and seeking Him out. I’ll find joy in the trials.

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:12

I’ll find joy in looking back knowing it was worth it. That the war is won, that no matter how much I fall Christ will always love me and pick me up.  I’ll find joy in letting Christ win the battle for me so that I can receive the crown of life that He died to give me. God is good, even when the demons in your closets are trying to tear you down. Seek the Lord and find joy in knowing it will all be worth it in the end.

 

Strength in Sorrow

In the midst of Jesus’s ministry on earth a message was sent to Jesus.  “Jesus, the one you love, Lazarus is sick.” It was a plea to have Christ come heal him, it was a S.O.S. hoping to get Jesus to run over to the neighboring town and heal him.  However, there was no rush, there was no panic, there was calmness.  Jesus knew that this sickness would not end in death and while all those around Him urged Him to go still He waited.  Jesus knew that through this sickness God would be glorified and He knew that those around would put their faith in God because of this sickness.  By the time Jesus had gotten to Lazarus he had already been dead four days and had been placed in the tomb.  Lazarus sisters both were placing blame in Jesus tell Him repeatedly, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” After hearing this and comforting them, Jesus asked to see him as they brought Jesus to the tomb, knowing that Lazarus would rise, knowing that this would glorify God, and knowing because of this people’s faith would strength, Jesus did one thing. 

Jesus wept.

Jesus, wasn’t afraid to show his emotion. He didn’t mask how he felt by pretending He wasn’t sorrowful. He didn’t want people to know that He was strong.  He didn’t care if people perceived Him as weak. Jesus let His true emotions show, He did the one thing that He needed to do. Jesus wept.

Even though Jesus was about to perform possibly one of His greatest miracles, he was still sad that the one He loved was dead, even if for just a moment. A simple fact we often forget is Jesus is God. God made the universe, He created the world, He parted the see’s, He made the skies rain manna for 40 years, God the only all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-good being that ever was.  No one has or had as much power as Jesus.  Yet, Jesus didn’t worry about trying to make those around Him believe He was strong.  He wasn’t scared that people would think He’s weak. He was honest and true, at that moment He was sad and He knew it was okay.

How often in our lives do we fail to see this though? How often do the circumstances in our lives make us feel such raw emotion but we fail to show it? We suppress it. We hide it.  We put the family on our back.  We put our friends on how back.  We put God on our back instead of letting God put us on His back.  Instead of looking to Jesus to be the rock, we decide that we will be the rock.  We will be strong when we are sad, we will hide what burns inside of us, and we will fool everyone around us into thinking that in those moments where we need Him and them the most, we are perfectly fine.  We try maintain an image that no matter what happens in life we will always be fine.  We are fearful of what those around us will think if they see us upset.  We’re afraid they’ll think we are weak.  We’re afraid that seeing us as weak will make them pity us more, respect us less, and love us because we are dependent on them.  We bottle everything up and in the end our “strength” leads to our demise.

Even though Jesus knew the situation would bring greatness to God and knew it was only momentary, even though He knew He had complete control on the situation, Jesus wept.

In 2 Corinthians Paul writes “And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.”Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”

We don’t have to hide how we feel. Just as Jesus wept, so it’s okay for us to weep. It’s okay for us to be transparent in our feelings, it’s okay to not be strong.  For Paul writes when we are weak there we are strong.

So often we believe that being emotionally strong means never crying. That couldn’t be further from the truth. In times of distress even though Jesus knew He could change everything Jesus did one thing.

Jesus wept.

What do you do?

Do you hold it in? Do you shoulder the load? Or do you pray? Do you cry out to God? Do you give the load to Him to carry? Do you fake smile and pretend you’re okay?

Jesus wept.

What will you do?

 

The Wonder Years of College (Part 2): Dating

Dating, one of the most complicated parts about college and honestly life.  Relationships seem to come and go as quick as the classes we take.  As we search for love we tend to think we’ve found it every time we get those butterflies in our stomach which as we encounter the opposite sex at every turn of campus we are bound to think we’re in love all the time.  We confuse infatuation with love and in the end we don’t only hurt those around us, we don’t only hurt ourselves, but in turn we hurt our future spouses.

As we encounter freedom on a whole new level we tend to think we are ready for all the responsibilities that come with it and we think that we know best for our lives.  All to often our feelings are based on first instincts and hormones.  Before we get to know someones story we are getting physical with them and building bonds that were never suppose to be, bonds that we aren’t ready for.  We jump into relationships not realizing what it means and not realizing how important and vital the relationships will be in our life.

As always I find it important to stress foundation, because without a firm foundation everything crumbles in time.  To be dating someone based on the fact of infatuation is to make a relationship that has no chance to last in the end.  To begin a relationship based on humor or their ability to make us laugh will in time fade again.  To date someone with different beliefs and theology saying it will work out in the end is to hope someone else’s foundation of their life changes to fit you, something unfair to both parties.  To date because someone is your whole life and happiness is to put your life and joy in someone else’s hands, it’s pressure that consumes and crushes them in time, I know this first hand, I’ve felt the love at first and that love slows suffocates them.  Dating is beautiful but should not be something you rush into, it’s a big decision that will effect your life and perspective of life.

Too often we rush into dating and I stress that it’s okay to take your time.  Stand firm in your decision.  From my experience people love to play match makers, people want to create love and they do their best to force it on those around them.  Don’t fall into the pressure, don’t date because people tell you too, date because you love them.  Take your time though, there’s no rush, dating is the first step towards marriage and all too often we forget that and we date just to date.  

Another important part of dating is the physical aspect of it and the dangers that come along it.  We look for love by making love, and that’s a false reality of life.  Sex isn’t love.  Sex is dangerous unless it’s in the context of marriage.  As soon as you cross the boundaries their almost impossible to go back before, and they soon will consume the relationship.  Showing love to your significant other is great and encouraged but be careful how you do it, because it can cause pain and scars.  

As we mature in our life our world opens up and we are free to live it however we choose.  As we begin to search for our spouses we need to be patient.  We can’t settle for people who don’t match up with us or fear loneliness and lower our standards.  God has a plan for all of us and you can put your faith in the fact that when the time is right you will meet the one you are suppose too.  As we start to date one we love, take it slow and set boundaries.  Stand behind those boundaries and save any form of sex for when you’re with your future spouse.  We all slip and mess up but it’s never too late to start over and clean our slate.  We don’t need to conform to the ways we have our whole life when God is calling us to live a better life, a purer life, a happier life.

Dating is beautiful when it’s done right. Be patient. Love one another not by physical standards but by actions and servitude.  Respect one another and encourage one another. Don’t rush things, take it slow. Build your foundation on something that lasts won’t fade. Forgive as you have been forgiven. Love like crazy.

Miley Needs Jesus?

After the VMA awards there has been widespread talk on one thing and one thing only: Miley Cyrus.  Why does Miley need Jesus? Because Miley has transformed before our very eyes from a sweet innocent actress on Disney channel who had the world in her hands to a twenty year old who isn’t afraid to strip in front of millions of people, sing songs about drugs, and see any and all forms of attention.  Miley from the outside looking in is as lost as you can be and so the words from the crowd begin to chirp in: Miley needs Jesus.  Miley needs help.  Miley is out of control.  Miley is a disgrace.  Miley’s dad is ashamed of her.  With an onslaught of verbal jokes degrading her as a person, disrespecting her, and making jokes about her body.  We are certain on one thing: Miley Cyrus desperately needs Jesus in her life.

While we are bold in our declaration that Miley need Jesus, we fail to realize that we ourselves desperately need Jesus in the exact same way.  It would appear obvious to us that Miley is rebelling and way out of control; however, it’s not so obvious the extent of our own sin in our lives.  Our own rebellion is masked by our ignorance.  We were brought into this world rebelling against God making it very clear to us that we all need Jesus.  Even after we come to know Christ though, we never truly cease our dependency on the Lord.  Miley may be rebelling on stage in front of millions, but she realizes that it doesn’t matter to her because only God’s judgment truly matters.  

“To my home girls here with the big butt
Shaking it like we at a strip club
Remember only God can judge ya
Forget the haters ’cause somebody loves ya
And everyone in line in the bathroom
Trying to get a line in the bathroom
We all so turned up here
Getting turned up, yeah, yeah”

Miley isn’t a fool and we have more in common with her than most of us would care to admit.  In the midst of a verse about dancing like a stripper, she mentions God’s judgment and how it doesn’t matter what others think, then straight to a lyric about doing coke in a bathroom.  It’s heart breaking because she realizes God’s what matters, but fails to realize the implications of that.  We have grace extended to us and are free to accept it, but does that grace truly change our lives? Are we truly reborn as one in Christ?

This in truth isn’t about Miley at all.  Miley is merely a symbol for a greater picture.  We need Jesus.  I couldn’t count the amount of times I see someone waiting all week to get plastered drunk, make ill decisions, to stumble into church the next morning.  When that person declares Miley needs Jesus, I think there is a problem.  We as a society are quick to look down on others and fail to see that we are one.  As individualized we are as a society it’s equally important to remember how similar we are.  Our sin is rebellion from God no matter what it is: whether it’s twerking at the VMAs, getting drunk on the weekends, talking about those around us in negative context, porn, or wanting something that doesn’t belong to us.  Sin is sin.  Her rebellion and our rebellion are the same and we both need Jesus equally.  Jesus wants us both equally as well,  His love is eternal, undeserved, and never failing.  In the same way that Jesus dishes us unconditional love every day I can assure you that her parents do as well.  There is nothing that my son or daughter could do that would make me love them less.  Even in the midst of chaos, I believe Billy Ray is loving her and trying to guide her as best as he can, as any parent would.  When someone lets us down or goes against our advice we don’t fully abandon them, we offer our hand.  That’s the beauty of grace, it’s always there for us.

I also find a problem when the people who proclaim to follow Christ are ones whose hearts don’t break for Miley.  If we as a society and as Christians degrade and bash on her what does that say about us? How does that reflect who we are as people and how does that make us any better than her? We aren’t better.  We are equal.

This concept I feel is crucial to grab hold of and understand because at no point do we ever cease to need Jesus in our lives.  In reality as we mature with Him we realize just how much we truly do need Him every day of our lives.  Miley isn’t the first celebrity to walk down this road and I promise she won’t be the last.  They stand to show us what we really look like though in all our rebellion and sin.  Yet, they also stand to show us what can truly happen when Christ grabs a hold of your life and changes your heart.  Our sin is the same, our Savior is the same, the question is will we accept true love at the cross or will we continue to seek the world?

 

The Wonder Years of College: (Part 1) Freshmen Year

After years of being told exactly what to do and how to live you’re on your own.  You can do whatever you want, you are surrounded by hundreds or thousands of people who are in your exact same shoes.  You now have the luxury and responsibility to manage every minute of your day and where you focus all your time.  Suddenly you’re enthralled by everything going on around you: the sports, the drinking, academics, parties, drugs, women/men, and have no one to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do.

College is a beautiful place, but it is also a dangerous place.  I’ve always thought that it is in college that some people discover who they are and some people lose who they are.  It’s where you can find the confidence that you are exactly who God created you to become or where you completely lose your identity and try anything to gain one back.  College is beautiful because it gives you the setting and freedom to completely take control of your life and become the person you want it to be.  If you discover your true identity, in my opinion college is beautiful.  However, if you fail to have or be secure in your identity you’re looking at an extremely dangerous place.  You’re looking at a place where you could potentially be surrounded by hundreds or thousands of people who are lost.  People who have no idea who they truly are or what they really want, need, or desire in life.  You’re looking at a group of people who are trying to fill a void in their life with anything but Jesus.  As they desperately seek out happiness and love in all the wrong places more than likely they will try to get you to join; after all misery does love company.  If we’re not careful it is very easy for us all to get wrapped up in the flow and follow everything we don’t need chasing down a happiness that doesn’t exist.  It all rests in your identity; who you are and where you get your self-worth. 

Throughout college you will learn a lot of things, you will ask many hard questions, and you will be asked many hard questions.  None of them more vital for your life than this: Where do you stand with Jesus?

If you know where you stand with Jesus, I firmly believe that you can rise above the adversity that is brought to you in college and stay secure in who you are without getting lost.  If you don’t know where you stand with Jesus, I also believe that there is an extremely high chance college will be extremely difficult.  It will be full of mirages of happiness and comfort that will only lead to regret later on in life.

So where do we stand with Jesus?

How do we respond to Him? Do we accept Him for who He is or are we hesitant to accept His love and His blood? Do we welcome and seek Him or do we neglect Him? Is our confidence in His Spirit or is it in ourselves? Do we understand the sacrifice that He laid down His life for us and more so than that do we even care?  Are we trying to fix ourselves or are we allowing Him who heals all to heal our wounds as well? Do we understand that despite our mistakes, short-comings, and flaws that we are loved?  Can we fathom the fact that no matter what we do that we will always be loved? Are we grateful for this grace or do we use it as a reason to continue to sin against the One who freed us? Where do we stand with Jesus?

It’s a tough question to answer.  Like most questions the answers may seem easy and simple to skim over and recite the Sunday school answers from our youth, but I beg you think deeper.  Reflect on this question and wrestle with it, it could be the question that saves your life.  Not merely saving in terms of heaven or hell, but on earth too.  Being secure in your identity in Christ can save you a world of heartache and let-down.  It can mold the story of your life into a story that beautiful to tell instead of one masked with hurt and pain.

As you seek the Lord, He will provide.  His love for us is undeserved, unfailing, and never-ending.  While He is a loving God, He will also do whatever it takes for us to see Him for who He is though.  If that means we get some scars to later remind us of His healing that’s what it takes.  Everyone is painting a different picture of their life.  

If I could redo my freshmen  year of school and seek out this question I would.  The scars inside me from the hurt of that year will forever be vivid in my life.  I love who I am in Christ and seeing how God used the hurt in my life to bring me where I am is a gift in itself.  However, I pray that you don’t have to feel that same hurt, loneliness, and self-hatred that I experienced.  I pray that you can seek the answers to this question sooner, cause if this question goes unanswered college can be a dangerous ride.  With it though, it can help you fully secure who you are in life with Christ, it can free you not enslave you.  

The question remains then: Where do you stand with Jesus?

Empty Gas Tank

Dependency.  A beautiful word in which growing up we all strive to be.  To break the chains from our parents and live our own life, make our own food, do our own laundry and not have to lean on anyone around us.  We want people to see us as adults.  We want people to see us as able.  We want people to see us as strong.  We fear the reality of their thoughts if they were to see us as needy, weak, and useless.

This summer I left for camp with a full tank of gas and a spiritual cup that was at the brim.  I was happy, I was joyous, I loved my life.  I set out wanting to help anyone and everyone around me fall deeper in love with the God that I was pursuing.  I was determined in being the rock for everyone around me.  I quickly realized this summer wasn’t about me and put my own faith on the backburner.  I was doing great and then my gas tank ran low, my cup ran dry, and still I trudged forward knowing and believing my roots in Christ were deep enough that I would be fine.  I was strong.  I was able.  People could depend on me.

My joyous attitude quickly faded and the bitterness within my heart started to seep out in every relationship I had.  My unwavering confidence was depleting and a fear came over me wondering how I was ever going to get through this summer.  As I was running one day I started praying and my words turned to yells of frustration.  My cup was empty, I was tired, I was exhausted, I wasn’t getting anyone to pour into me, yet people still expected more from me.  What more could I give when I had nothing left?  As the shouts echoed I realized I had neglected God.  I had neglected the only relationship and person who could help me.  I began to see that I was useless by myself.  I was weak.  I needed help.  I needed more God.

As I finished the run my attention and focus quickly shifted into spending as much time with the Lord as I could.  It didn’t take long for my mood to ease back into being joyous or for my ability to love people to come back.  It’s at this moment, a month into summer, that I think my summer finally started.  I began to realize that I will forever be dependent on Christ no matter where I am or how old I become.  Not only that but I realized how vital fellowship with other followers of Christ is to my relationship with Christ.  Throughout my first two years of college I heard a lot of talk about community and about connecting with a small group but I never thought it was important.  I always believed I was strong enough to do it solo.

As I matured in my faith and took a step towards being a part of a group it changed my life.  To be honest, it was in my first experience that I was able to see what being a Christian is all about and helped me hand my life over to Christ.  It was there that I was able to open up and share my struggles and for the first time in my life be honest with who I was.  It was there that I was able to be loved on and encouraged daily for me and my pursuit of the Lord.  It was there that I was discipled to count the cost of following Christ and pursue it whole-heartedly.  It was there that I could ask questions, get answers, and help others as well.  It became essential because I realized I can’t keep myself accountable.  I can’t do everything by myself.  As the body of Christ I realized that I was one part, I was useless by myself, but with everyone around me and with the body I could function, grow, and be a part of something real.

Even as a body it’s important to remember that we still aren’t enough though.  We desperately need to see how much we need the Lord to guide us, strengthen us, love us, and sustain us in everything we do.  As Christian’s we should be constantly looking to the Lord and having fellowship with not only our community but more importantly with Christ.

Psalm 62:5 “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.”

It’s only when we are seeking the Lord and actively seeking Him with those around us that we are able to have a full tank of gas to operate on.  It’s only then will our cup be full.

Reading the Book by the Cover

Throughout summer there are a wide variety of scenarios that seem to take place that make you wonder what happened.  Somehow between promising myself I’d keep it long and realizing my hair doesn’t truly matter to me, I ended up getting a pink mohawk.  The story is simple, every week we encourage the campers to try to reach a goal offering (this summer it all went to the Congo to enhance water) and to help them out we give them an incentive.  Normally it’s pushing a counselor in the week, then it was my boss risking his hair, and it ended on me risking mine.  Reaching the point of the hair cut I had washout dye, but I made the promise and I let my yes be yes and my no be no.  I bought the dye and cut my hair.

The point of this blog is not merely explain my new hair cut it’s much deeper than that and so is my reason for keeping it as long as I can.  I believe throughout life there are many lessons to be had.  While I don’t seek those out when I have a chance I graciously welcome them and make the most out of them.  This lesson comes to not only those around me, but also to myself.  A lesson in judgment.

As a walk around I catch a glimpse of those around me and the looks they give me.  At first it catches me off guard but then I remember what I look like and I quietly accept it and move on.  After a while though, I start to realize premature when people are going to stare at me and I feel the mental judgments rolling in.  I in turn quickly make up some reason why they have no reason to judge me which is caused by me judging them.  Within moments of this encounter I realize my short comings and check my heart and mind to get them in the right place.  The God honoring place.

I hope that by hair I can show people that looks are just looks.  I hope that when people encounter me they can learn to wait until they talk to me before they come up with whether they like me or not.  I hope that it can serve as a reminder to me that when I encounter people I haven’t met to wait and not jump to conclusions or assumptions on their life knowing that at one point of time people were doing it too me.  I hope I can be extra gracious and giving and serving to show people.  I hope if they hesitate to accept me at first they can realize that I love them and want to help.  I hope they can learn to accept me and love me the same way.  I want to show others the problems with judging those around us and awaken myself to how I fall short.  I want to help people see that love can be found everywhere and in every person.  I want to show people that Christ can be found in anyone’s heart and that following Him doesn’t necessary look ordinary as we would think.  I hope to show them and myself that outward appearance is just an appearance and nothing more.

It seems foolish.  Such a dramatic reason for a seemingly simple decision.  Much like most things about me though you’ll learn I have deeper meanings for most things.  While at first they may seem shallow the roots go very deep.  I hope that through this Christ will be glorified.

As I depart I want to show you all the finished project.  I pray that through this seemingly small gesture that started off as a bet that I can honestly bring glory and clarity to God’s character and love.  God is good.  Love can be held anywhere on earth, even in a pink mohawk, that’s something I’m starting to be able to see.